2004 Election: A Final Prediction

The Election is finally here. Excitement fills the air and people are lining up to vote like it is the next Star Wars movie. The pundits are out in FORCE, spewing fact after so-called fact. I thought it was time I throw in my predictions.....


10 things we will see on election week....

10) Dick Cheney is stung by a south pacific flying beetle and has an allergic reaction. What was he doing in Hawaii anyway?

9) Mary Cheney is stung by a story about her new boyfriend which leaks out late Monday night. Apparently, her girlfriend is quite jealous.

8) Lynne Cheney grabs a microphone at the hospital news conference and spouts a rant that makes Zell Miller look sane about it being none of our business if Mary is actually a lesbian.

7) GW Bush has dinner with his parents and Jeb on election night.... when Florida is called for Kerry, they leave in a huff. Jeb gets on the phone to once again...'save the day'

6) The voters in South Florida are treated to the 2004 version of the 'butterfly' ballot, this is called the 'Accordian' ballot as it actually folds in a small square and when opened, it plays 'God Bless America'.

5) Neil Bush holds aTuesday morning press conference declaring he no longer supports his brother and is declares his love of Asian women is causing a family rift.

4) Barbara Bush enters the polling place and is told her registration is invalid. She pulls off her fluffy white wig and throws it over the poll workers eyes, grabs a ballot fills it out and shoves it into the ballot box.

3) GW Bush goes to vote and is stopped and questioned because his name turns up on the FBI's Terrorist 'Watch List'. He is held for 8 hours and by then the polls have closed and he is unable to vote.

2) The Fox News Channel declares GW Bush the winner in all 50 states at around 2pm on Tuesday.... Everyone else follows along like sheep.... for an hour or so.

1) The Electoral College ends in a 269 to 269 tie.... The House of Representatives elects GW Bush as President and the Senate Elects John Edwards as Vice President. Then Bush Resigns from office in protest and John Edwards becomes the 44th President of the United States. He appoints Bill Clinton to be his Vice-President.....